There are many times that I think of things that I want to write about for this page on our website, but for whatever reason, I don't do it. Somewhere in my brain is this belief that I need photos to write blog posts - what baloney is that? When did I start thinking that? Furthermore, images are always available.
I think if I look deeper into the cause it's that I avoid writing like the plague when I'm not in the best mind space. Lately, I've not been in the kind of space that is conducive to writing. I've not been in a bad place, necessarily, just kind of avoiding everything that is swirling around in my head. The problem with that is that nothing gets sorted out until I spend some time, by myself, writing. And so here it is.
I'm starting this new writing journey by writing in response to a prompt I came upon recently in a book called, oddly enough, 500 Writing Prompts. I bought it in the bargain section of Barnes and Noble and threw it on a shelf until I was re-organizing lately and found it again. I opened the page and the following prompt stood out to me:
"If you looked in a crystal ball, what would you hope to see?"
And if that isn't the beginning of examining goals and plans for the future, I don't know what is.
If I sat down in that candle lit room with the incense burning, the future I see for myself would, in some ways, be the same as the life I have today. I see my home, my family, and especially, my Stewbert, but there are so many other things that I wish were different.
I see myself more self-disciplined, more able to focus on all of the areas of my life at the same time. You see, I'm especially good at focusing on one thing. If I say I'm going to purge my house, that is all I can think about and that's all I can work on. I view everything else as a distraction to that goal: Work, family, friends, everything. If there's a show that I'm interested in, I want to watch every episode to the exclusion of everything else. It's like I get stuck and can't move from one thing to the other. I can't balance my day so that this area gets this many hours and this area gets that many hours. It's all or nothing on one project and if I'm looking in my crystal ball, that's the thing I want to see changed the most.
I see someone who can get up in the morning, work out, have that healthy breakfast, get ready for work, work diligently until lunch time, break for a nutritious lunch, then work until quitting time. Then the gears will shift for a few hours to working on RED, a good dinner, working with Stew on our joint endeavor, some relaxation time and then off to bed for a relaxing night's sleep.
That's the future I want. In this future, I also see myself active and with a lot less weight on my body. The weight discussion can be found over on the health blog, but if I'm seeing the perfect future, let me tell you, I won't be anywhere near the size I am now.
I see a busy person, but a successful one. The house is mostly clean, the laundry is mostly done, there are social clubs and sports teams, outings with friends, successful businesses, work that is rewarding and up to date, cooking, reading, watching movies, snuggling on the couch on rainy days without guilt over the things that aren't getting done that day.
I think through this writing I've found the one thing that I want most of all. I want a future where I am fully engaged in this moment and to not have my mind in thirty different places thinking about all of the other things I should be doing. I want to savor the moment that I'm in and be relentless about the goals that I have. I want to see a woman striving to be the best she can be, one that lets go of fear and steps out of her comfort zone to achieve what she wants.
The thing about crystal balls though is that they're nice to look at, but no vision of what you see will make that future happen. Sure, there is self-fulfilling prophecy: changing your thinking from what you want to achieve to seeing what you know you can achieve. And maybe, that's all you need to step forward and make the crystal ball visions come to fruition. Maybe all you need is the belief that regardless of where you are right now in this moment, you control that future that stretches out in front of you and if you stop wishing it will happen and start believing that you can make it happen then it will be. All you have to do is have faith in yourself and take that first step. The road won't be a straight or smooth path, but if you stay on the course you set for yourself, you'll eventually get to where you're going. You are your greatest asset. I'm going to start believing that and I'm going to take that first step. Will you join me?